Having good money habits gives couples a head start, but to really thrive, it’s crucial to combine strengths and make the most of dual incomes to achieve shared goals and dreams. Here are the top habits that can help you become a couple that truly “has it together” financially, along with tips on how to get there.
1. Learn Each Other’s Money Stories
Your money story explains who you are financially and how you got there (and where you want to be in the future). Taking the time to learn each other’s money stories and how their attitudes developed over the years can help couples build intimacy and understanding. There are fun ways to learn each other’s money stories.
2. Know Your Money Personalities
Taking a money personality test is a fun way to help you figure out your spending and saving style. Let each person bring their superpowers to do what they do best, so financial planning doesn’t feel like a chore. It can also establish more trust between the two of you and understand ways to make your money personalities complimentary versus at odds with each other.
3. Understand Your Money Merge Style
There’s no one way for couples to merge their finances. Take time to figure out what your money merge style is. However you choose to merge your income, it’s essential that you both feel like you have access to your money in a way that makes you feel like you have financial independence and a healthy role in your financial decision-making.
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4. Unestand Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Let’s face it; not everyone comes into a relationship with all the financial know-how. Rather than expect the more free-spirited person to become the master of spreadsheets, think about how they can best contribute to the financial relationship. The other can help by bringing in extra money or making sure that the other doesn’t become too face-down in the numbers that they forget to enjoy the little things in life, like the occasional dinner out.
5. Know Your Shared vs. Personal Expenses
Get out a spreadsheet or pad and paper and start making a list of your shared and personal expenses. An example of shared expenses is the rent, mortgage, and water and heat bill. When you have that done, you can start thinking and talking about other expenses that the two of you share each month, such as groceries and other monthly subscriptions. Then start making a list of your individual expenses, the kind that you each pay independent of the other, such as gym memberships, gifts for family members, and how much money you tend to spend on the things you want.
6. Understand Your Needs, Wants, and Goals
Couples that manage their incomes effectively juggle their short-term and long-term goals and allocate their paychecks into the near and distant future. By creating buckets you can start effectively planning with your money rather than just saving and spending sporadically.
7. Find Reasons to Celebrate
Even in the leanest times, the most financially successful couples celebrate something positive in their relationship. Telling the other person how important they are to you and how you value them doesn’t cost anything. It’s okay to agree to disagree as long as you take the time to come to solutions that don’t end in sulking or passive aggression.
8. Set Up Money Dates
Conversations about money can be really stressful and end with fights and recriminations. A solution is to set up a monthly money date to soften the tough topics’ blow and make them more regular so that there are no jolts or surprises. A money date should happen once a month at an agreed-upon time after the dishes are done and with a glass of wine or a comforting dinner.
9. Automate Your Finances
Automating your finances means that you don’t have to write yourself a note to manually transfer money into your joint account or bug the other to pay your bill. But automating your finances is more than just simple convenience. Automation allows us to reduce what behavioral economists call ‘the pain of paying. Combined with a lot of communication, automating your finances can help you save and spend together and separately.
10. Plan for the Unexpected
Couples who know that there will always be rainy days on the horizon keep a healthy emergency fund if one partner loses a job, faces a big medical bill, or is confronted with a sudden change in life circumstances. Many schools of thought about how much to put aside, but a good rule of thumb is three to six months’ worth of shared expenses that keep the lights on — rent or mortgage, minimums on credit card bills, and car payments.
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